General Schmerdiakov's Blog (11)

Making SlabSpace Better - Or Else!

Comrades, it is I your fearless leader General Schmerdiakov. Stop grovelling and here what I have to say! As citizens of The People's Republic of Slabovia I have been most impressed by your dedication to Slaboiva and its SlabSpace networking site-thing. Your efforts at bringing Slabovia to the attention to the world has also been noted and I have a new set of medals being made up for those who have shown most loyalty. Next on the agenda is something evolutionary - there shall be no talk of rev… Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on June 22, 2009 at 3:15pm — No Comments

Banned Pictures

Comrades, it has recently come to my attention that some illegal literature of a titillating nature have been posted on Slabspace. The offending items have now been removed. Pictures of the naked form are illegal in Slabovia, particularly of big toes, ears and armpits, and anyo… Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on May 18, 2009 at 10:30am — 8 Comments

World Take Over; One Click Away

Comrades, I have just been handed some important information. The West has finally acknowledged that our Great Republic of Slabovia is a force to be reckoned with and we been put up for a strange thing called a 'Webby Award'. My minions in the centre for technology research tell me that winning this award will take me one step closer to realising my dream of World Domination! This being this case, I expect all citizens to vote for Slabovia.tv. In fact, let it not stop there, tell all your frie… Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on April 14, 2009 at 5:00pm — 4 Comments

New Slabovian Flag

Comrades, with your help I have chosen the new Slabovian national flag. There were two entries which acquired the most votes so I devised a complex way of choosing between them. Then I realised I had forgotten the words to eeny meeny miney mo so I decided we shall have two fl… Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on March 30, 2009 at 11:30am — 5 Comments

Brown Nose Day

Comrades I have had a typically brilliant idea - we shall celebrate Brown Nose Day. The point of this event is to Brown Nose the most important person in your life - i.e me! It's such a good idea that Westerners are already copying it in the form of 'Comic Relief'. Stupid Western… Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on March 4, 2009 at 3:57pm — 1 Comment

Religion and Slabovia the final word

Comrades, it has come to my attention that some citizens have been trying to introduce religion to Slabovia. I can confirm that Slabovia has no state-approved religion - the only higher being you worship is me - The General. Any comrades found praising anyone else, whether they be Boris the Pig, Britney Spears or Potato Face Bill will be severely punished. Now get back to work! Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on February 26, 2009 at 3:44pm — 5 Comments

My Plans For The Next Few Weeks

Comrades, many of you may be wondering what I, your courageous and thought-provoking leader General Gregory Schmerdiakov, am doing for Give A Present Day (that event also known as Christmas) and Next Year. Of course you are, as you are - after - all only human. Well, firstly I am having Mama Nietzsche prepare me a gargantuan lunch on Give A Present Day. Indeed this is her present to me. She has something extra special planned this year: Professor Probious had crossbred a turkey with sprouts, ro… Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on December 22, 2008 at 2:00pm — 3 Comments

Santa Claus, Slabovia and Me

Comrades, I have been interrogating Santa about this Elf we have in Slabovia - you may have missed me on SlabSpace over the days I have spent with the old man (we shared mince pies together and he has promised me a cannon). I have crucial information that may lead to the capture of this elfish fiend. Me and The General's Son have also been playing a game of battle chess. I promise him in the December each year that should he beat me I will hand over my iron first. However, as I make the rules y… Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on December 15, 2008 at 6:20pm — 3 Comments

My Election Victory

Comrades, I am a happy man. Seeing so many of you turn out to put a tick next to my name/s in the electoral ballot paper made my stern face cracked a smile. We are on our way to growing bigger than America and I am about to unleash the next step of my diabolical plan to make us smarter than the West. Professor Probious has been testing a new mental ray enhancer on those citizens who have been locked in the dungeons of Slabovia. This will help, though comrades who have some mental capacity alrea… Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on November 7, 2008 at 4:30pm — 2 Comments

Plastic Fist

Comrades, I have misplaced my lightweight plastic fist that I use to rule Slabovia. Has anyone seen it? For the time being, I will have to use the iron fist that has served me so well. Continue

Added by General Schmerdiakov on October 7, 2008 at 5:52pm — 4 Comments

My Big N Brown Book

Comrades, my diabolical brain is always whirring. I also keep a diary. Please see the Big N Brown Book for my weekly words of wisdom and pictures of mass destruction. The General. PS. Here is a sample of my work

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Added by General Schmerdiakov on September 15, 2008 at 11:30am — No Comments