Santa Claus's Discussions
Slabovian lore
I heard that Slaboivan children didn't belive in Santa Claus... but here I am?
Replied Dec. 24, 2008
I've Been Set Free!
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- What is your Slabovian profession
- Trotter Trimmer
- Who Is The Most Important Person In The World?
- General Schmerdiakov
ALL HAIL TO THE GENERAL
Ho Ho Ho Comrades. After two weeks of interrogation I have been set free - and just in time to get those presents to children across the world. Of course, I will be spreading the word of Slabovia along the way (part of the condition of my release!).
Why on muddy earth would The General release me? Well, by fluke, it appears that I am decended from a family of trotter trimmers! Heavens alive, I always wondered why I would insist that I - and only I - keep my reindeer hoves trimmed.
So now I must go. I have an awful lot of work to do and Mrs Claus must be worried where I am.
I also thank The General for imprisioning that pesky Elfy the Elf - I never really liked him, always talking about Christmas and the like. Pah! That's my job.
Why on muddy earth would The General release me? Well, by fluke, it appears that I am decended from a family of trotter trimmers! Heavens alive, I always wondered why I would insist that I - and only I - keep my reindeer hoves trimmed.
So now I must go. I have an awful lot of work to do and Mrs Claus must be worried where I am.
I also thank The General for imprisioning that pesky Elfy the Elf - I never really liked him, always talking about Christmas and the like. Pah! That's my job.
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It is also true that your ancestors were Trotter Trimmers, which makes you a trotter trimmer. Go join your group.
But remember Santa Claus, one false step and you will be thrown back into our deepest darkest Slabovian jails - trotter trimmer or not. And, from now on, I expect all Slabovians to be on your "good boys and girls" list whether they have been or not! And my gifts better be good... or punishment will be severe!