Kelvin Hassell's Page

My name is Chestikoff Downhillski, but I use my Western alias of Kelvin Hassell most of the time. I am a lower ranking Tractor Wheel Scraper which means I only earn 6 potatos a month. I cannot afford my own scraper but fortunatly, my good friend Hodjaknicka Bolokov, who works in trotter cutting, saved me a trotter cliping big enough to fashion a scraper from! I am 31 although I feel about 60. This is due to the harsh winters and the lack of a draft excluder in my hut. I sometimes get my pig Bernard to lay in front of the door but he often just wanders off letting the draft in. He nibbles on my coffee table too and sometime he does these enormous poo's right in the middle of the hut. If you don't mind the smell, this is a good way to keep your hut warm. I don't have a shovel so when the poo goes cold i have to clear it with my hands. I must be carful not to get splinters from where he eats my coffee table. It is my aim to earn enough money to take the Slabovian way of life to England where the peoples would benifit from our political and economic situation. I feel sorry for none Slabovians and think we should do what we can to help them.