Slabovia Tourist Guide

Greetings comrades and welcomes to Slabovia - 9 out 10 communists wouldn't go anywhere else

We have great mud huts to stay in, repressed comrades, uniformed tower blocks, pickles in brine, plenty of potatoes to lick, a fascinating culture and history made up daily by The General and range of jobs that always need doing!

Here you will find all the info you will need to survive in Slabovia.

Slabovia's cruel but lovable tyrant Gregory "The General" Schmerdiakov

General Smerdyiakov has been Slabovia’s great leader for the last 60 years. He rules the country with an iron fist. Some people had suggested that he has actually been dead for the last 30 years ever since he accidentally knocked himself out picking his nose with his iron fist. But this rumour no longer lives… neither do those people who started it. He might not move a lot but he’s most definitely not dead. No, not dead. Alive.






The Sickle and Pickle

Slabovia's national emblem - a symbol of work and a juicy pickle as reward. It is also used to State-Approve just about everything! All baby Slabovian's must wear nappies with the Sickle and Pickle on front and back. All adult Slabovian's must be able to locate this very nappie and produce it for inspection at any time. Many adult Slabovians wear nappies to avoid getting caught out.





The Potato

What a read. Slabovia's best-selling and only newspaper, filled to the brim with propaganda. With more than 50 pages dedicated to The General from what he had for breakfast to his latest hare brain attempt at taking over the world.







Boris The Pig

The most famous pig in all of Slabovia. Boris started the "Pigs Have Rights Too" movement which lead to pigs all over Slabovia gaining equal status as Slabovian citizens. This also created two new industries - Trotter Trimming and Pig Polishing.









Tower Blocks

We got plenty of them. All waiting to be filled with unsuspecting westerners who happen to stumble upon Slabovia. They can only be found in the capital city of Slabograd. Rather than having Tower blocks outside the city, citizen leave in huts.




The General's Son

The General’s son is Slabovia’s number one Communist Playboy with an airport hangar filled with designer tractors - he may ask you to scrape his tractor wheels. He will one day rule Slabovia and so you must do as he says, salute and love him. But not as much as The General!