Weird Science Facts

[Professor Probious]

Got a question for me? Leave it here and I would only be too happy to answer it.

Got an interesting science fact? Please let me know it as I would be extremely interested in reading about it.

[Wii Jaminov]

Professor Probius, I heard that today Slabovian scientists activated the high-speed potato collider, to recreate the conditions immediately after the creation of the first potato.

Is it true that they have now conclusively proved that potato is the most important element in the universe?

[Professor Probious]

Where did you hear such facts? That is highly top secret, state approved, on a need to know basis and you don't need to know!!!

In answer to your other question. You are indeed correct! The potato always has been, and always will be, the most important element on earth. The mighty potato forms the building blocks of life. It was one massive cosmic potato bang that created the earth and our solar system as we know it today.

My mathematical equation that proves this theory can be found below. Don’t let anyone in the West see this or I will get in big trouble!

[Wii Jaminov]

Thanks Professor, I feel enlightened.

I've been hearing many things about this theory of evolution, and that everything evolved from single-celled organisms, but I find it impossible to imagine a time without potatoes or the General! How could a world have existed without the twin pillars of my existence?

[Professor Probious]

Well my young friend, you could not have existed.

The theory of evolution is perhaps the single most significant scientific theory ever created, but it has one single flaw. The theory of evolution states that every living matter evolved form single celled organisms through the process of natural selection, but from where did the single cell evolve? I can tell you for fact that it evolved from a potato seed. Think about it. have you ever seen a potato seed? No! That’s because it was the seed from which the single celled organism grew and thus the rest of life as we know it!

[Wii Jaminov]

Professor Probious, it has always been my dream to be a State-approved Slabovian scientist.

I have created a potato-expansion device, so that our lovely spuds can be even bigger! Unfortunately, it does take several months, and more electricity than Slabovia has ever produced to work, but these are minor flaws. Here's a scientific diagram for you.

[Professor Probious]

This is an extremely good idea my young aspiring scientist. I might pick your brains for the smaller details.

Though I must point out that tampering with the building blocks of life could have disastrous effects and so would warn against such a dramatic experiment.

[Potato Scone]

Hey Probious,

Why pigs like mud so much?

PS

[mr. pickler]

i heard that there was a a cart that didn't have to be pushed, it had three wheels and ran on potato power?

i was wondering if it was true???

[Grusha]

My Uncle Dipzodski had one of those no-need-to-push carts and as I recall it was potato powered. True the potatoes were used to power the pig that pulled it, but once he was on the wagon, he got a converter kit and ran it off potato vodka.

I say once, the experiment ended in failure and a shed fire that could be seen from space (we know you're up there NASA!) when he attempted a little home tractor tire scraping with a lit cigarette and too little ventilation.

[Professor Probious]

That is an unfortunate story my young friend and a cautionary tale on combining fire with HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE FUEL... Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. I hear that in the west some people are using potatoes to power their ipods. That is no use to me because I don't know what an ipod is. I think it has something to with peas, which I like to eat whilst listening to music on my potato-powered cassette player.

[Truckles]

Professor I am hearing about this new thing about 'hybrid' animal, such as ligers, and I was wondering if the powers of interbreeding could be directed towards potatoes and pigs. Such an animal would surely be king of the world!