Useless News

[Burgess McPhilbin]

The latest useless news from around the world.

Breaking News: Scientists have discovered that millions of years ago the world was ruled by pigs. The "Age of the Porcine" occurred around 260 million years ago when hog-like creatures happily spent their days gorging on plants and scratching themselves.

Does anyone else have any news or evidence of these Pigosaurs?

[The Tractor Magnet]

Mental - diansaur pigs. What did they eat? Giant truffles?

[Wii Jaminov]

Pigs could still rule the world if they want to, but they simply choose not to, as they recognise the power and gifts of the General.

At least, that's what my pig told me...

[Nietzsche]

No, I think pigs would not be ables to rules the world. Their trotters would not be able to work the TV remote... so how would they learn anything?

[EJ]

I was out last week rock counting and i noticed a rather odd artefact lying near a rock. After closer examination and with confirmation from a highly established colleage... slaboviana jones... we discovered the remains of an engorged pig snout; which possibly dated back to around 260 million years ago. After much consideration and hopefully soon back up from the General himself... it shall be proven from these remains that yes we are all originated from pigs... Hence the newly discovered 'Age of the Porcine!'

[Burgess McPhilbin]

Bojemoi! What a snazzy find. I wonder whether the human race could have in fact evolved from the porcine variety - which would explain a lot. I think this may well be news worthy (I will pass it on to The Potato). Tell me, have you considered the occupation of a foreign correspondent for Slabovia and its new output? We're always on the lookout for such people.

[EJ]

Quite possibly. Those westerners do have very piggish behaviours, which us slabovonians endevour to disregard as we hold pigs in such high esteem and cannot even possibly compare to the wonderous nature of the pig... Occupation of a foreign correspondent for Slabovia hmmm, i will give it some thought. Thank you... Yes please pass on my find to The Potato, the news will encourage the belief of the 'Age of the Porcine'.

[Ol Man Jones]

In 2012 it'll all become clear when the pigosauchimp will be found to be the missing link. What, you mean you never knew that?

[The Tractor Magnet]

Think my next door neighbour is a pigosauchimp....

[Burgess McPhilbin]

Breaking News: A pig has been raising three tiger cubs on a farm in Southern Ukraine after they were abandoned by their mother.

Has the world gone pig crazy?

Does anyone else have any surrogate pig mum stories?